Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

How to Transform Upset into Calm

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

You can choose to remain calm.

When you get upset about something you may feel like your angry response is inevitable.  In fact, you have a choice.  Choosing to remain calm will help you deal better with the situation.  Here’s how you do it.

First, notice when you start getting upset about something.

Just having a part of yourself that is observing your enraged response, rather than fully participating in it creates a detachment you can work with.

Then ask yourself, “Is what just happened worth getting upset about?”

If you are like most people accustomed to becoming upset when annoyed, your immediate response will be a resounding and heart-felt “Yes!!”

If you take a closer look and are truly honest with yourself, chances are you’ll be able to acknowledge that it’s not that big a deal.  What’s more, though you might wish the situation were different, your getting upset isn’t going to improve anything.  It will only make matters worse.

Pausing to observe your reactions and gently questioning your angry response will give you the time and perspective that will allow you to calm down and respond more effectively.

Let Your Soul Sing starts TODAY!

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

If you’re already signed up for “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained” I can’t wait to “see” you this evening and start sharing the valuable information I have for you.

If you’re NOT signed up yet, tonight is our FIRST OFFICIAL Teleseminar. It’s not too late.  You can still sign up, and you can still get the “Bring a Friend” option.

Just go to:  http://www.letyoursoulsing.com

Tonight we’ll cover:

  • How you can create the motivation that helps you to follow through.
  • Where to identify what would create joy in your life
  • How to connect with what fulfillment feels like in your body, so you can use that feeling like a divining rod, helping you to find direction and stay on track

In the following weeks you’ll discover how to:

  • Move beyond the brick wall of “I don’t know” that keeps most people stuck
  • Get moving and keep moving toward a life that really turns you on
  • Use your resistance to help you move ahead
  • Find the support that enables you to achieve your goals

I know how most people wait until the VERY, VERY, VERY, last minute to make a decision.  Today’s the day for you to do just that.

I want to mentor you through this process and have you become a success story.

You have my promise that this telecourse will never again be offered at this extremely low price – less than $50 per session!  Act now!

Go to http://www.letyoursoulsing.com to sign up for the telecourse, but do it now.  The telecourse begins tonight at 8 PM EDT.

Share this information with a friend and they can sign up at $100 off the regular price. Once you and your friend have enrolled in the telecourse, simply email your friend’s name to me at Jeannette@achieveyourgoals.com and I will refund your friend $100 off the regular price of the teleseminar.

Here’s that link again, join us TODAY before it’s too late!

http://www.letyoursoulsing.com

Here’s to a life of meaning and joy for you

Jeannette

Improve Your Relationships: Listen and Paraphrase

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Virtually everyone who comes to me for relationship coaching puts improved communication at the top of their list of goals. Most think of communication training in terms of learning to express themselves more clearly.  The hope is that by learning to articulate their meaning precisely and eloquently, they will be understood.

Yet listening is actually the most important skill to develop for improved communication and paraphrasing is the best tool to insure accurate listening.

The Dangers of Misunderstanding:

I believe that at least 85% of the conflict in relationships comes from misunderstanding.  When you listen carefully, you avoid misunderstandings by actually hearing what the other person has said.  Sounds simple but, as you may well know, accurate listening can be challenging indeed.

Under the best of circumstances, we all have assumptions about what we have heard which may or may not be correct.  Beyond this, when there’s a disagreement both people are usually focused on their own position and what they want to say next to win the argument rather than on what the other person is saying. It is impossible to simultaneously think about your response and listen to the other person.

This leads not only to misunderstanding, but to resentment, as well. It becomes apparent to both parties that the other person isn’t making an effort to understand.  It is not uncommon for people to jump quickly to feelings of hurt. Sensing that the other person doesn’t care enough to bother to listen adds fuel to the argumentative fire.

Paraphrasing – The Simple, Effective Key to Improved Communication

Careful listening and checking with the other person to make sure you have understood what they have said can keep this destructive pattern from happening in the first place or stop it if it has already begun.

Paraphrasing is the best tool for this. Paraphrasing is simply repeating back in your own words what you heard the other person say.  Paraphrasing offers a number of benefits:

1.    Paraphrasing insures that you have heard correctly.  If your paraphrase is incorrect the other person can clarify, thereby eliminating misunderstanding.

2.    Paraphrasing slows down communication, minimizing the likelihood that arguments will escalate.

3.    Paraphrasing demonstrates to the other person that you are willing to listen carefully, creating good will and maximizing the probability that they will listen to you, as well.

With improved communication comes improved relationships, both personally and professionally, a most significant part of making your good life better!

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

3 Ways to Turn Your Procrastination into Action

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

“There’s nothing worth doing today that can’t be put off until tomorrow.”

All of us live by this maxim sometimes. There is always something easier or more enjoyable to do than the tasks we find daunting or distasteful.  Many people are convinced that they work best when faced with an imminent deadline.  Too much procrastination, though, can have serious costs.
Think of the times you’ve procrastinated.  Consider the time and energy you put into unnecessary activities, like emptying the dishwasher or doing the crossword puzzle.  Remember the growing stress and apprehension as the deadline for completion approached.  Think of the ways procrastination has negatively impacted your relationships with co-workers, your boss, or your spouse.

You can use the energy that you put into procrastinating to help you achieve your goals.  You can direct that same energy into productive work if you commit yourself to doing so.

It’s easier to redirect your energy if you have something specific to focus on.  Here are three ways you can harness the energy you use procrastinating so you can more readily achieve your goals.

1.    Plan:

Often procrastination results from feeling overwhelmed.  There are too many things to do and too little time to do them.  The options spin around in your head so fast that any one item can feel like two or twelve.

Pause, step back, take stock, make a list and identify what needs to be done and when.  Prioritize.

Gaining perspective in this way is incredibly empowering.  It slows things down and provides direction.  It clarifies just what steps you need to take, which ones you need to do first and when you can do them.

You can take your planning further by identifying others you might engage to help you with one part or another of your project.

2.    Just Do It:

Sometimes what is needed is simply to act.  It may matter less what you do than that you simply do anything that moves you forward towards your goal.  Once your energy gets directed toward addressing the challenge, it will continue to flow in that direction.

Accomplishing even a small step can encourage you to take the next step and then the next.  Before you know it, a momentum develops and you will be well on your way toward achieving your goal.

Think of the times you procrastinated.  Sooner or later you actually got going and accomplished the task.  It may as well be sooner than later.

3.    Visualize Success:

You can create a positive expectation by visualizing success in the challenge you are facing.  Consciously replace any disastrous outcomes you anticipate with images of success.

In a state of deep relaxation, imagine a positive outcome.  Imagine the project you are working on complete.  Pay careful attention to everything you do that contributes to your achievement.  Notice how it feels when you have successfully accomplished your task.

Inform your work with this positive anticipation and you will find it goes easier and more smoothly.


We focused on this skill in greater detail in the newsletter Visualize Your Success.  If you would like another copy, please email me at Jeannette@achieveyourgoals.com.

Once you change your procrastination into action, you’ll achieve your goals and make your good life better!

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

5 Secrets For A Happy Life

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

In my work as a life coach, I find that there are five basic ingredients that lead to sustained happiness.  Cultivate these deceptively simple behaviors and you will make your good life better.

1. Give and Receive Love
:

Your relationships are what nourish you the most, whether with family, friends or pets.  Be kind to those around you.  Be willing to give and receive support, encouragement, hugs.  Make time for those you care about.

Research has shown that kindness to others provides more lasting satisfaction than having fun.

2.    Do Meaningful Work:

Meaningful work may be a job you care about, whether it’s work you get paid for, or taking care of your family. Meaningful work might be volunteering at a local hospice or teaching Sunday school.

Meaningful work can also be a hobby or interest you pursue, such as singing in a choir, collecting rare coins or quilting.

Meaningful work gives purpose and joy to your life.

3.    Nourish Your Body Properly:

You need a healthy body to enjoy life.  When you take the time to eat nutritious foods, you provide your body with what it needs to function properly.

You feel better when you eat with awareness.  Stop eating when you are full. Listen to your body and choose the foods your body loves.  These may be different from the foods you crave.  Really notice how the foods you eat affect you and make your food choices accordingly.

4.    Exercise and Rest:

Exercise provides your body with the activity it needs to remain healthy.  It also produces endorphins, those hormones that create a natural high.

Ample rest is as important as exercise.  People who get ample sleep do better on every measure of physical and psychological health.

Watch a young child or a pet and you will notice vigorous activity immediately followed by rest.  They run around like crazy and then conk out.  We are hard-wired to do this.  Make sure you get enough of both.

5.    Cultivate a Practice of Reflection:

Provide yourself with regular opportunity to reflect on your life.  You can take a walk during your lunch hour or turn off the radio in your car on the way home.  You might keep a daily journal or spend time in church focusing on the past week and the one ahead.

This is time to take stock of what is working in your life and what you would like to see different and better. You will gain awareness that enables you to be more in control of your life.

Taking time for quiet reflection will also help you to calm and center yourself.  This is a great way to manage the stress in your life.

You can think of these elements as a beautiful flower with five petals.  When you practice all of them, you will definitely make your good life better!

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

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Monday, November 23rd, 2009

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