Archive for the ‘Solution Focused Coaching’ Category

Newer Entries »

Ways to Channel the Energy You Spend Worrying

Monday, July 12th, 2010

1. Give yourself high quality worry time.

You may actually value your worrying.  After all, worry can feel protective.  Considering every possible negative outcome can give you confidence that there will be no unpleasant surprises.  The problem comes when worry takes over your life, intruding at any moment of the day or night to distract you from what you really need to focus on.Instead of letting worry take over, set aside brief periods throughout the day devoted to high quality worry.  It’s up to you to decide how often you need to worry and how long each period should last.  You might want to devote the last five minutes of every hour of your waking day to high quality worry, or you might prefer 20 minute sessions morning, afternoon and evening.

During high quality worry time you focus all of your attention on whatever you’re anxious about.  You can allow yourself to get as worked up as you want about anything that’s bothering you.  Once the designated time is up, you turn your attention back to whatever needs to be done in your life.  If worry intrudes at any other time in the day, you very patiently and gently remind yourself that now is not the time to worry.  You turn your attention back to whatever it is that you were doing, confident that before long you will once again have some high quality worry time available to devote yourself wholeheartedly to your concern.  If the schedule you initially choose doesn’t work for you, modify it until you find one that does.  As you practice high quality worrying, you may gradually decrease your sessions in length or frequency.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Endorse Both Your Achievements and Your Strengths

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Endorsing your excellence means both acknowledging your achievements and appreciating your strengths, those character traits that have enabled you to succeed.

Being willing and able to endorse your excellence has a number of benefits. Here are some of them:

1. Familiarity with your own strengths provides awareness of the qualities that can help you to succeed.

When you set a goal for yourself it is important to know those characteristics which have helped you to succeed in the past. If you are aware of your strengths and willing to acknowledge them, you can consciously utilize them to help you achieve your goals in the present.

Your strengths may be diligence or enthusiasm or perseverance or any other character trait that has helped you to succeed in the past. Whatever they are, these strengths will always be available to you. You can draw on these same strengths to achieve your goal in the present, no matter how daunting it may seem.

If you would like to learn more about your own strengths, I highly recommend you visit the website www.authentichappiness.com. There you will find the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire which measures 24 character strengths. It takes only about 20 minutes to complete this questionnaire and it is free! You will have a list of your top strengths. Awareness of these strengths will help you answer the question, “How can I ever accomplish THIS???”

2. When you acknowledge your successes you become an expert in what you can do to achieve your goals.

When you recognize what you do that works, you can build on your successes to reach your goals. Pay attention to the tiny winning choices that you make. Notice the differences they make in your life.

Are you more effective when you take a brief break a couple of times a day? Do people react differently when you treat them with greater kindness? When you become an expert on the outcome of your choices, you learn what behaviors work. You become keenly aware of what you need to do more of to succeed. When you are empowered in this way, the choices you make will create your success.

3. Honestly present your excellence to others.

There are certain situations, such as job interviews, where success depends on your being able to affirm the contributions you have made. This is not bragging when done in a matter-of-fact manner.

A simple acknowledgement of your strengths and accomplishments conveys necessary information while projecting the self confidence every employer seeks in a potential hire.

As you practice endorsing your excellence it will become easier. After all, it is natural to feel good about how great you really are!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Career Life Coaching, Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Replace the Habit of Upset with the Habit of Calm

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

When you are upset about something, it may feel like there’s no way you could calm down.  In fact, there are simple, straightforward techniques you can use to transform upset into calm.  When you do, you’ll deal more effectively with the situation.

Here are the steps you can use to transform upset into calm.

First notice how you feel as you let upset overtake you.  Pay careful attention to the impact of your upset on your body and your mind.

Notice any tightness in your muscles or clenching in your gut.  Be aware of the unpleasant thoughts and feelings aroused by your outrage.  If your criticism is directed at yourself, notice how undermining those attacks on yourself truly are.

Then ask yourself,  “How would I be, if I weren’t reacting this way?”

If you are honest with yourself, you will note that you would be calmer and more peaceful, more comfortable and better able to deal with the situation if you were free of your upset.

From this perspective, you can see that your own upset is as much of a problem as whatever provoked your response.

Really allow yourself to imagine fully how it would feel to remain calm.  Invite the thoughts that would support a calm response, such as “This really isn’t all that important” or “Maybe s/he didn’t do that to hurt me.”

Visualize yourself responding appropriately when frustrated, disappointed or angry.  Then practice the calm you have visualized

As you begin to visualize alternatives to overreacting, you become aware of the choices available to you.  When you feel your upset beginning to arise, take a deep breath and consider your options.  Ask yourself, “Would I rather be upset or calm in this situation?”

Gradually, as you practice new patterns of thought and behavior, you will replace the habit of upset with the habit of calm.

Posted in Career Life Coaching, Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching | No Comments »

How to Transform Upset into Calm

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

You can choose to remain calm.

When you get upset about something you may feel like your angry response is inevitable.  In fact, you have a choice.  Choosing to remain calm will help you deal better with the situation.  Here’s how you do it.

First, notice when you start getting upset about something.

Just having a part of yourself that is observing your enraged response, rather than fully participating in it creates a detachment you can work with.

Then ask yourself, “Is what just happened worth getting upset about?”

If you are like most people accustomed to becoming upset when annoyed, your immediate response will be a resounding and heart-felt “Yes!!”

If you take a closer look and are truly honest with yourself, chances are you’ll be able to acknowledge that it’s not that big a deal.  What’s more, though you might wish the situation were different, your getting upset isn’t going to improve anything.  It will only make matters worse.

Pausing to observe your reactions and gently questioning your angry response will give you the time and perspective that will allow you to calm down and respond more effectively.

Posted in Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Visualize Your Success

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Would you like to take advantage of the secret world-class athletes use to achieve peak performance?

Research has shown that athletes who visualize proficient performance in addition to practicing their skills do better than those who only practice. Golfers improve their strokes. Basketball players make more of their foul shots. Athletes in virtually every field improve their performance when they visualize success.

You can use the same process to gain confidence and perform better in any challenge you face. Whether it’s giving a dynamic presentation, moving beyond procrastination to complete an important project or nailing a job interview, visualizing success will help you succeed.

Here’s how to visualize your success:

1. Relax:

Make sure your body is comfortably supported. Uncross your arms and legs. Close your eyes.

Breathe deeply, imagining that you are breathing in calm and peace. Allow that calm to circulate throughout your body, bringing relaxation to every muscle. As you exhale, imagine yourself releasing any stress or tension.

If you notice tightness in any part of your body, give yourself permission to relax even more deeply, releasing that tension as you exhale.

You may notice distracting thoughts. Let them go on the next exhalation and turn your focus back to your breathing.

2. Imagine yourself in your own personal screening room:

Once you are deeply relaxed, imagine yourself seated in your own personal screening room. This may be like a small theater with rows of seats, or perhaps you are just seated in a comfortable chair in front of a wide screen TV.

You have a remote control device in your hand which you can use to pause the action or replay it as often as you like. Get comfortable and when you are ready, press the ‘Play’ button to start the action on the screen.

3. Observe your success on the screen:

Notice yourself on the screen, moving through whatever challenge you face with skill and aplomb. Observe just what you do that insures success. Notice the thoughts which provide you with a feeling of confidence.

You can replay this scene as often as you like. Let yourself become really familiar with what success looks and feels like for you. If you notice any hesitation or uncertainty, pause the action and ask yourself what you need to know to help you. Then replay that part, informed with your new awareness, as often as you need to until you are perfectly confident of your ability to do your best.

This easy procedure can help you to gain confidence in your ability to rise to any challenge. By visualizing success in this way, you will become familiar with what optimal performance looks and feels like.

The more you practice, the more natural the winning behaviors, thoughts and feelings will become. They’ll be available when it’s time to enact the scene in real life. You will be empowered to do your best. When you succeed, your confidence improves and you make your good life better!

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon. Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine. Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Tags:
Posted in Solution Focused Coaching | No Comments »

The Six Stages of Change

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Most of us think of change as a simple linear process.  We set a goal and we move toward it until we succeed.

Research has shown, however, that change is actually a more complex and circular process.  In his study of people who successfully quit smoking, James Prochaska identified six stages which characterize any behavioral change. Understanding these six stages of change can help you achieve your goals.

In addition, Prochaska found that few of his subjects actually marched through these steps one after the other.  Instead most of them circled through a number of times before they became and remained non-smokers.

This is important for you to know if you are attempting a behavioral change or if someone you know is.  It’s easy to view a lapse as failure, to become discouraged or even give up.

Instead, you can recognize lapses as a normal part of the change process.  By being aware of the six stages, you will be better prepared to deal with any setbacks and get quickly back on track.

The Six Stages of Change:

Prochaska not only characterized the stages of change.  He also identified the accomplishments necessary in each to move to the next stage.  I offer you both.
1.    Precontemplation:

Precontemplation describes the period before you are aware that a change is necessary.  Another word for Precontemplation is denial.

In Precontemplation, you are living with a problem but refusing to acknowledge that change needs to happen.  Others around you may clearly recognize that you need to change, but you insist that the situation is not so serious that you can’t handle it.

If you are in Precontemplation, before you can to move to the next stage you need to be willing to consider the possibility that change may be necessary.  You need to recognize that the costs of maintaining the problem behavior may be greater than the costs of changing it.

2.    Contemplation:

Once you’ve moved out of Precontemplation, you are willing to understand the truth about the problem behavior or situation and consider the alternatives.  Contemplation is the learning stage in which you gather information.

In the stage of Contemplation you examine the pros and cons of the various options available to you.  You honestly assess all of the costs and benefits of allowing the situation to continue.  You also look at the pluses and minuses of doing things differently. You become fully informed.

Some people go back and forth between Precontemplation and Contemplation for a while before they are ready to move ahead.  You are ready to move to the next stage when, on the basis of your analysis, you embrace the need to change.

3.    Planning:

Once you have committed to bringing about a change in your life, the next step is to figure out how to do it.  You plan your behavior change.

You identify your goal.  You research the various ways you might achieve your goal.  You enlist help.  Often people show up for coaching when they reach the Planning stage, knowing that a coach can help them clarify their goal as well as the steps they need to accomplish it.

Once you have formulated a workable plan, you are ready to move into Action.

4.    Action:

You implement your plan in the Action phase.  This phase can be seen as an experiment in which you learn which parts of your plan work and where the unforeseen obstacles lie.

Circling between Action and Planning is an inevitable part of the change process.  No plan is perfect.  It is essential to view any problems which arise as an opportunity to improve your plan.

Once your action plan is proceeding smoothly, you are ready to move into the most challenging stage of all.

5.    Maintenance:

Most people enter the Action stage filled with enthusiasm and excitement.  There is a sense of euphoria as they begin to see positive change and experience the benefits that this brings.

It is much more of a challenge to maintain that change.  As you move further from the negative experiences created by the old behavior, it becomes easier to minimize their costs.  Temptations arise which can be difficult to resist.

Maintenance is the long haul during which old habits are being replaced by new ones.  Lapses are common during the Maintenance phase.  It may be necessary to return to Planning or even to Contemplation to remedy these lapses.

Some people who lapse in the Maintenance stage get so discouraged that they return to Precontemplation.  Don’t let this happen to you!

When you understand that change rarely proceeds in a straight line, you can recognize a lapse as a normal part of the change process and get quickly back on track.

6.    Termination (Transformation):

Once the new habits have replaced the old, maladaptive behaviors you can consider yourself in what Prochaska labels the Termination phase.  I prefer the term Transformation.

In Transformation, the desired change has been accomplished.  With the new behaviors established, you are no longer the same person.  You couldn’t imagine going back to the old behavior patterns. You have achieved your goal.

Understanding the process of change will help you achieve your goals and make your good life better!  If you would like to learn more about the six stages of change, I heartily recommend Prochaska’s book, Changing for Good.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Inner Wisdom Coaching, Solution Focused Coaching | No Comments »

Improve Your Relationships: “Watch Your Buts”

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

‘But’ is a small word, but it is very powerful.

The power of ‘but’ is amply demonstrated in the sentence you just read.  The message you come away with is, “‘But’ is powerful”.  ‘But’s’ small size is negated by the fact of its power.

The word ‘but’ dismisses whatever comes before it.    ‘But’ lets you know that what you need to pay attention to, what is true and what really counts is what follows.

‘But’s’ a Fightin’ Word:

Though it may be subtle, in conversation ‘but’ becomes a form of disagreement.  Since ‘but’ signals that whatever came before it doesn’t really matter, when you begin your sentences with ‘but’, you are implying that whatever the other person just said is less important or less true than what you are about to say.

This is important in relationships because the more you ‘but’ the people in your life, the less they will feel respected.  Like any implication of right vs. wrong, ‘but’ creates an adversarial mood.  It creates the impression that people are more interested in making their point than they are in listening and understanding the other’s perspective.

People resent being dismissed.  They become less inclined to consider your point of view when they feel that you are disregarding their position.

You Probably Don’t Notice Your ‘Buts’:

When your discussions become adversarial and you can’t figure out how that happened, chances are there’s ‘butting’ going on. ‘Butting’ is such a habit, most people aren’t even aware that they’re doing it.

Tune in to the times when people begin their sentences with ‘but,’ or ‘but’s’ twin sister, ‘yes, but’.   Pay attention.  Chances are you’ll feel somewhat disregarded or rebuffed, even offended.

Then recognize when you ‘Yes, but’ and notice how others respond.  The tone of the interaction will probably become a little more strained. Voices may rise in tone or volume.  Antagonism may grow with each exchange.

Replace Your ‘Buts’ With Acknowledgment:

As you sensitize yourself to this behavior, you will be more aware when it’s happening.  Then you can replace your ‘but’s’ with some form of acknowledgement before making your point.  You don’t have to agree with what the other person is saying, but if you validate their position before responding, they will feel more affirmed and will be more likely to consider your point of view.  Things will stay calmer.

Validation means letting the other person know you understand their perspective.  You may endorse some part of what they are saying, or you can let them know you recognize how they see things, even if you disagree.

The more others feel listened to and respected by you, the more inclined they will be to offer you respect in return. The more conscious you are of your ‘buts’, the more you replace them with validation of the other person’s position, even if you disagree, the more your discussions will remain constructive and cooperative.  This will improve your relationships, which will make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Posted in Inner Wisdom Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching | No Comments »

Focus on the Solutions, Not the Problems

Monday, January 4th, 2010

I sometimes begin my coaching sessions with the question, “What is different and better since the last time we met?”

At the outset of our work together, most of my clients declare that there isn’t anything different and better in their lives since our last meeting. Even under pressure from me – “Come on, there must be something!” – they insist that nothing has changed for the better. Then, 17 or 26 minutes or even 49 minutes into the session they mention some small thing they did differently – remaining calm in a difficult situation, or handling a challenge more effectively, or treating themselves or others more kindly . They simply hadn’t noticed it.

We all tend to focus on what isn’t working in our lives. We tend to take what’s going well for granted. After all, it doesn’t need our attention if it’s working fine, so we don’t give it much thought.

It is truly empowering to expand your focus beyond the problems to the small things you do that tend to make things better in your life.

When You Focus on the Solution, You Become Expert in What Works:

When you focus on the problems, you become an expert on your ineffectiveness and unhappiness. Focus on what isn’t working creates discouragement and undermines your confidence and self-esteem. Paying attention to what isn’t working leaves you clueless about what you could be doing differently to transform your situation for the better.

When you switch your focus to your small successes, you become an expert on the choices you make that can improve your life. You are looking here for tiny changes and then noticing the effect these positive choices create.

Think Small:

I suspect that one reason my clients initially have difficulty responding to my ‘different and better’ question is that they are looking for massive change, which rarely occurs. When big changes do happen they’re hard to maintain. Sudden major transformation just doesn’t sustain. It’s too great a departure from the norm, which can feel strange or even scary.

True lasting change occurs in tiny increments practiced over time until they become new habits. Slightly larger successes build on previous wins. Gradually, winning habits of thought and behavior get established and become the new norm.

Life is made of little things. You make thousands of choices throughout the day – choices about how you act or react, choices about how you think or view the circumstances of your life. Most of us are not aware of the choices we make. We just act.

How To Become an Expert on the Solutions:

First identify problem areas in your life that you’d like to change:

• It drives you crazy when your spouse does those same things you’ve been complaining about for years.
• You’d like to shed a few pounds.
• Sometimes you’re late paying your bills because they get lost in those mountains of mail on your dining room table.

The first step toward becoming an expert on the solutions is becoming curious about alternative choices you may never have considered before. Consider what you might do differently to impact on these situations.

You empower yourself when you begin to consider what you could do differently to achieve better outcome:

• You could react more calmly when your spouse does the things that annoy you.
• When you notice yourself going for that midnight snack, you could remind yourself of your weight loss goals and drink a glass of water instead.
• You could sort through the mail right away, throwing away the junk mail and putting your bills in a special place.
The next step is to begin the experiment of putting your alternative choices into practice. On the basis of these experiments you’ll learn what works by noticing the outcome of your new choices, compared with the way things used to be:
• You realize that your day doesn’t need to be ruined just because your spouse did something you don’t like. You might even notice that your spouse becomes friendlier in response to your greater calm, and begins to act more according to your preferences.
• You notice how proud you feel the next morning for making a healthy choice. Over time your weight loss shows you how damaging those late night cookies really were.
• You recognize how much better you feel, secure that you’re not missing a bill and free of mail clutter.

Lasting transformation occurs through the aggregate of these small actions repeated over time. By focusing on the solutions – choices you can make to improve the situation – rather than getting stuck on what isn’t working in your life, you bring about lasting positive change.
By the third or fourth session, my clients become expert at answering the ‘different and better’ question. Then I know that they have shifted their focus from what isn’t working in their lives to what they can do to transform their situation for the better. You, too, can make that transition. When you do, you will achieve your goals and make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Posted in Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching | 5 Comments »

Baby Steps Will Get You There!

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s real hard.

Are you procrastinating, overwhelmed by the size of an important task you need to complete?  When faced with a big job, think small.

It’s easy to become paralyzed when the job you need to do seems too big to handle.  In those situations it’s helpful to remember the salami image.  There’s no way in the world you can stuff an entire salami in your mouth, but you can polish it off easily one slice at a time.  The thinner the slices, the easier it is to do.

It’s crucial to break any big job into doable steps. When faced with a daunting task, first identify the steps necessary to reach your goal.  The smaller the steps, the easier they are to accomplish.  Once you get moving by taking baby steps, you develop momentum. That momentum will help you move forward, enjoying the task as you go.

The operative word here is “doable.” Most people stymie themselves with unrealistic demands.  Unwilling to be satisfied with small steps, they end up doing nothing. It is important to delight in any progress you make while working toward a goal, no matter how small that progress may seem.

A client came to me recently seeking help to finish his doctoral dissertation.  He needed a Ph.D. in order to get the job he wanted and he couldn’t get his Ph.D. until his dissertation was complete.  He had been working on the dissertation for over a year. By the time he came to see me he had done no work on it at all for several months and was completely stuck.

My client and I identified fifteen small steps that would enable him move forward.  We determined that he could reasonably expect to complete the first two of those steps by our next session.

“I couldn’t be happy with that,” he protested.  “I’d feel like I hadn’t done enough if THAT were all I accomplished!  I’d need to get at least eight of those steps done to feel satisfied.”  Of course, even five of the steps we had identified would have been too much to realistically accomplish in one week. Overwhelmed with so much, my client would have fallen back into his old pattern of doing nothing.

How often are you like my client?  Unable to live up to unrealistic expectations, do you end up doing nothing at all?

If there is an important project that you are stuck on, ask yourself, “Am I insisting on too much from myself?”  If your expectations are unrealistic, you may thwart your own progress.

Examine whatever daunting task you are facing.  Break it down into the smallest possible steps. Set realistic goals related to accomplishing those steps.  By giving yourself permission to take baby steps, you will begin moving in the right direction.  The progress you make will encourage you to keep going. In this way you will eventually achieve your goal.

In fact, my client felt great after completing the two small steps he set out to do that first week.  Getting at least something done was a definite improvement over the inactivity of the preceding months.  The following week he accomplished the next small segment. Before long he was rolling ahead toward completing his dissertation.

When you allow yourself to be satisfied with baby steps, you, too, will achieve your goals and make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Career Life Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching | No Comments »

Accountability Will Help You Achieve Your Goals

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Accountability Will Help You Achieve Your Goals
Think of the times you’ve attempted a behavioral change but didn’t get very far.  Chances are you started off with lots of enthusiasm, but the effort got lost somewhere along the way.
Change is hard.  The path of least resistance leads straight to the familiar ways of doing things.  The demands of your busy life distract your attention from your behavior change project.  Old habits have a way of reasserting themselves.
Accountability Will Help You Succeed
In life coaching, accountability is one of the most powerful tools for helping people succeed.  Accountability literally means making an account.  When you know you are going to make an account to someone else, you are more likely to follow through with the steps you’ve committed to for reaching your goal.   An on-going relationship with someone to whom you make an account  helps you stay on track over time.
Involving another person in your behavior change program helps you strengthen your commitment and maintain your focus.  When things go well you have someone to celebrate with.  When problems arise there’s someone to help you identify what went wrong and figure out how to get back on track
Here are three ways you can create accountability in your life:
1. Enlist a Friend
You have probably noticed that you’re more likely to stick with an exercise program when you find a buddy to participate with you.  If you just don’t feel like getting up early one morning to take that run, you’re much more likely to get moving if you know you’ll let your friend down if you don’t show up.
You can make a contest of it, seeing who reaches a weight loss or savings plan goal first.  You could also make a bet with a friend or family member.  If you succeed at your behavior change, you win your bet in addition to the satisfaction of achieving your goal.
Engaging a friend or family member will not only help you succeed.  Working toward a shared goal will provide companionship and strengthen the relationship.
2. Join a Group or a Class
When you make a group or a class a part of your weekly schedule, you improve the chances that you’ll follow through.  The structure of a weekly class or group creates a routine in your life that becomes a regular habit.
It can be much easier to get to the gym for an exercise class, than to work out on your own.  If you try doing it at home, it’s easy to get distracted by the kids, the TV, or the thousands of other things you need to do around the house.
Participation in a group brings you into contact with others who share your interests or goals.  Other members can offer encouragement and support.  If you are motivated by competition, comparing your progress to others’ can provide an incentive.  Twelve Step, weight loss, and smoking cessation groups all provide ongoing support to help you establish and maintain healthy behaviors.  Joining a book group provides social interaction and stimulating conversation, in addition to making sure that you get those books read.
If your goal is developing a new skill, such as photography or playing the guitar, or pursuing an interest such as becoming a wine connoisseur, a class provides information and guidance in a systematic manner.  You can also expand your social network when you come into contact with others who share your interests.
3. Hire a Life Coach
A life coach is a professional, with expertise in helping you achieve your goals.  Your regularly scheduled meetings keep you focused on your objectives amid the distractions of your daily life. Reporting on your progress, both in and between sessions, creates the accountability and support  that maximize the likelihood of your following through on action steps.  The feedback you receive, whether celebration of successes or problem solving to address unexpected challenges, will help you to succeed.
Whatever your goal, you increase the chances that you will succeed if you create accountability.  And achieving your goals will make your good life better.

Think of the times you’ve attempted a behavioral change but didn’t get very far.  Chances are you started off with lots of enthusiasm, but the effort got lost somewhere along the way.

Change is hard.  The path of least resistance leads straight to the familiar ways of doing things.  The demands of your busy life distract your attention from your behavior change project.  Old habits have a way of reasserting themselves.

Accountability Will Help You Succeed!

In life coaching, accountability is one of the most powerful tools for helping people succeed.  Accountability literally means making an account.  When you know you are going to make an account to someone else, you are more likely to follow through with the steps you’ve committed to for reaching your goal.   An on-going relationship with someone to whom you make an account  helps you stay on track over time.

Involving another person in your behavior change program helps you strengthen your commitment and maintain your focus.  When things go well you have someone to celebrate with.  When problems arise there’s someone to help you identify what went wrong and figure out how to get back on track.

Here are three ways you can create accountability in your life:

1. Enlist a Friend:

You have probably noticed that you’re more likely to stick with an exercise program when you find a buddy to participate with you.  If you just don’t feel like getting up early one morning to take that run, you’re much more likely to get moving if you know you’ll let your friend down if you don’t show up.

You can make a contest of it, seeing who reaches a weight loss or savings plan goal first.  You could also make a bet with a friend or family member.  If you succeed at your behavior change, you win your bet in addition to the satisfaction of achieving your goal.

Engaging a friend or family member will not only help you succeed.  Working toward a shared goal will provide companionship and strengthen the relationship.

2. Join a Group or a Class:

When you make a group or a class a part of your weekly schedule, you improve the chances that you’ll follow through.  The structure of a weekly class or group creates a routine in your life that becomes a regular habit.

It can be much easier to get to the gym for an exercise class, than to work out on your own.  If you try doing it at home, it’s easy to get distracted by the kids, the TV, or the thousands of other things you need to do around the house.

Participation in a group brings you into contact with others who share your interests or goals.  Other members can offer encouragement and support.  If you are motivated by competition, comparing your progress to others’ can provide an incentive.  Twelve Step, weight loss, and smoking cessation groups all provide ongoing support to help you establish and maintain healthy behaviors.  Joining a book group provides social interaction and stimulating conversation, in addition to making sure that you get those books read.

If your goal is developing a new skill, such as photography or playing the guitar, or pursuing an interest such as becoming a wine connoisseur, a class provides information and guidance in a systematic manner.  You can also expand your social network when you come into contact with others who share your interests.

3. Hire a Life Coach:

A life coach is a professional, with expertise in helping you achieve your goals.  Your regularly scheduled meetings keep you focused on your objectives amid the distractions of your daily life.  Reporting on your progress, both in and between sessions, creates the accountability and support  that maximize the likelihood of your following through on action steps.  The feedback you receive, whether celebration of successes or problem solving to address unexpected challenges, will help you to succeed.

Whatever your goal, you increase the chances that you will succeed if you create accountability.  And achieving your goals will make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Posted in Career Life Coaching, Solution Focused Coaching | 1 Comment »

Newer Entries »